Only days before Christmas, I have to tell you that Santa Claus has been to court. Many times. In 1947, in Miracle on 34th Street, a great film starring Natalie Wood, Maureen O'Hara and Edmund Gwynn, Gwynn played Kris Kringle, a man totally convinced he was the real Santa Claus. When he told his friends, he was promptly committed to the infamous Bellevue Hospital just before Christmas. In a warmhearted series of courtroom ploys, his fearless lawyer got him recognized as the only Santa Claus. Since then, all has not been milk and cookies for Santa.
A New Jersey man went to court to get his name changed to Santa Claus, and Santa wasn't even called to testify about whether he liked the man. He might have given the guy a bundle of switches when he was little. Santa's also been involved in cases involving impersonation by a lawyer (I assure you it wasn't I), disorderly conduct (maybe involving some brandy), and even a tax matter in 1994. Santa might consider retaining a good defense attorney to help him with cases that could arise such as trespass, employing non-unionized elves, violating wage and hour laws, and Peeping Tom allegations. Peeping Tom, you ask? Well, how else could he see you while you're sleeping?
Georgia has just granted Santa's flying reindeer special clearance to navigate the skies of the state, but he probably violates the federal aviation regulations all the time. Flying too low. No navigational lights on the sleigh. Reindeer dropping whatever as they fly. So many laws to avoid breaking, and so much for Santa to think about in the short hours before Christmas. He might wish he could be committed to Bellevue Hospital just to rest. But Santa, I have a wish, too. Please give everyone reading this today a safe and happy holiday and a wonderful new year.
